"Hi I'm Jane. I'm originally from Massachusetts and a student at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst. I study Middle Eastern Studies and I'll be studying abroad in August until next May in Jordan, yeah, scary I know right? *chuckles* I started doing yoga with my mom about six years ago when she got her teacher training but I only started doing it five times a week this past semester at my university's fitness center, where I hope to teach next fall. I have a lot of family friends who are yogis so I'm kind of following in their footsteps, but I hope to come out of this with a new mindset, see things differently."
I struck the baton on my guru's (she may not be a guru, but to me she's my guru) tall frosted glass bowl she got in Asheville. It rang sweetly, it echo bouncing off the teal walls of the studio training room. My introduction to the class. Day 1 of 18. 9am-6pm, six days a week. 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training. After completion, I'll be certified to teach yoga.
What an amazing group of lovely yogis. From the teens to fifties, everyone is so different, some in lower points in their lives, some on a steep incline, some with children, some who have lost children, one with children on the way. Some just completed degrees, opened practices, some are successful in other ways, everyone in one way or another. Some of us are new to yoga, some feel new and old to it on different days, at the same time. All of us have wisdom to share. I never realised how much I would learn from my guru and my peers about...just...life. Wisdom. Mindset. Being angry. Forgiving. Crying in pidgin pose, shavasana. Going above and beyond physical feelings in a pose. Zero judgement. Contentment. Egotism in yoga. In yoga! How simple things like a simple yoga pose can make you so connected, spiritual, cleansed, gracious, emotional, feeling. Yoga. Peace, love, yoga. I can live and learn forever here.
Today I made banana bread and I was so worried about being sad that no one would try it, like it. I thought that even if no one knew I had made and brought it, someone would eat some of it and I would bring the rest home, content. But within two hours it had been gobbled up and everyone loved it and since someone caught me bringing it in, the secret was revealed. Just having my banana bread eaten made me so happy, I hope they know that it made my day to hear them say thank you.
Because I am trying not to expect a "thank you" when I do something for someone. So many people I've come across have asked, borrowed, used me and never do I receive a "thank you" or something in return. I shouldn't expect it. I don't want to be hurt when it's not given. I don't want to expect it. I want to be content. Santosha. First and second limb. Yamas and Niyamas. One of my favourite parts of yoga training so far.
One of my guru's quotes I like best (credited to someone, somewhere): "If you can't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." Sorry, I just threw that in here to remember it.
We graduated together, the 13 of us (one came through FaceTime and printed out on a stick since she could make it) at the beach. We brought food and shed no tears, although it had been done two days before during our thoughtful and heartfelt practical exams. We wore white and gave our guru a picture we had taken of her the week before - a sweat stain in the shape of a heart while she wrote on our whiteboard. We signed our names around the frame. It didn't feel like goodbye to any of these wonderful people; I know we will be in touch, we will be around, and together we shared a journey that has changed who we are as yogis, as humans.